"Last Summer of Klinsor (Guomai Classics)" Reading Notes

"The Last Summer of Klingsor (Guomai Classics)" Reading Notes#

Author: Hermann Hesse
Reading Duration: 2 hours

These are the notes and excerpts I recorded while reading "The Last Summer of Klingsor (Guomai Classics)" on WeChat Reading.

Klingsor#

Once there was such a boy, in that incredible era, for him nothing in the world was impossible, nothing was difficult. Klingsor loved everything, ruled everything, possessed everything. He kept moving forward like this, living with nine lives. Even if he never reached perfection, never realized the grand chorus, his songs were never monotonous or barren. Compared to others, he always had more strings to play, more steel to throw into the fire, more talers in his backpack, more roses in his cart! Thank heaven!

Louis#

Nature has countless colors, yet we insist on reducing the spectrum to twenty shades. This is painting. You can never find satisfaction in it, and you have to feed the critics.

Their moods make the stars in the sky light up and fade; they make flares rise in the bustling nights: the world is a soap bubble, an opera, a ridiculous revelry.

But Louis does not like to see this fragility; it torments him, demanding sympathy. Klingsor was used to opening his heart to this friend, but he realized too late that doing so was precisely what made him lose his friend.

Nature has countless colors, yet we insist on reducing the spectrum to twenty shades. This is painting. You can never find satisfaction in it, and you have to feed the critics.

Their moods make the stars in the sky light up and fade; they make flares rise in the bustling nights: the world is a soap bubble, an opera, a ridiculous revelry.

But Louis does not like to see this fragility; it torments him, demanding sympathy. Klingsor was used to opening his heart to this friend, but he realized too late that doing so was precisely what made him lose his friend.

Kareno Day#

Is a person a rogue stuck in the mud of the world, or a foolish child?

"Deep down," he sang, "I am a golden ball, like the dome of a sanctuary, where people kneel in prayer, and the walls shine with golden light. In the ancient painting, the holy land bleeds, the heart of the Virgin bleeds. We also bleed, we outcasts, we madmen, we stars and comets, swords seven and fourteen pierce our blissful chests. I love you, golden-haired and dark-haired women, I love everyone, including the commoners; you are all miserable creatures like me, you are pitiful children, misplaced demigods, like drunken Klingsor. Cheers to me, dear life! Cheers to me, dear death!

Is a person a rogue stuck in the mud of the world, or a foolish child?

"Deep down," he sang, "I am a golden ball, like the dome of a sanctuary, where people kneel in prayer, and the walls shine with golden light. In the ancient painting, the holy land bleeds, the heart of the Virgin bleeds. We also bleed, we outcasts, we madmen, we stars and comets, swords seven and fourteen pierce our blissful chests. I love you, golden-haired and dark-haired women, I love everyone, including the commoners; you are all miserable creatures like me, you are pitiful children, misplaced demigods, like drunken Klingsor. Cheers to me, dear life! Cheers to me, dear death!

Klingsor's Letter to Edith#

You and I have both entered the same labyrinth, the labyrinth of emotions. In this terrible world, it briefly comes to us, and each of us, in our own way, seeks revenge on this briefness against this terrible world. Only mature and composed people can understand their feelings and their impact, understand the consequences of actions; they believe in life, that every step they take will still be believed in tomorrow and the day after. I am not so lucky to be one of them; my actions and feelings are like someone who does not believe in tomorrow, treating each day as if it were the last.

I do not just love you, you know this; I do not just love Gina; tomorrow and the day after, I will love different scenes, paint different pictures. But I do not regret any love I have felt, nor will I regret any wise or foolish actions they take. I love you, perhaps because you and I are so similar. I love them because they are so different from me.

You and I have both entered the same labyrinth, the labyrinth of emotions. In this terrible world, it briefly comes to us, and each of us, in our own way, seeks revenge on this briefness against this terrible world. Only mature and composed people can understand their feelings and their impact, understand the consequences of actions; they believe in life, that every step they take will still be believed in tomorrow and the day after. I am not so lucky to be one of them; my actions and feelings are like someone who does not believe in tomorrow, treating each day as if it were the last.

I do not just love you, you know this; I do not just love Gina; tomorrow and the day after, I will love different scenes, paint different pictures. But I do not regret any love I have felt, nor will I regret any wise or foolish actions they take. I love you, perhaps because you and I are so similar. I love them because they are so different from me.

The Sound of Drowning#

He knew he was born different; Saturn cast a different gaze upon him, and the divine wanted to play different songs on his strings.

I do not need weapons against death, for death does not exist. Only one thing exists: the fear of death. People can heal it; there are weapons against fear. You only need an hour of study to conquer fear. But Li Taibai does not want this; Li loves death, loves his fear of death, loves his melancholy and sorrow, for death makes him understand what he can do, what we love about him.

He knew he was born different; Saturn cast a different gaze upon him, and the divine wanted to play different songs on his strings.

I do not need weapons against death, for death does not exist. Only one thing exists: the fear of death. People can heal it; there are weapons against fear. You only need an hour of study to conquer fear. But Li Taibai does not want this; Li loves death, loves his fear of death, loves his melancholy and sorrow, for death makes him understand what he can do, what we love about him.

August Night#

Leaves fall from the tree of life. Oh, splendid world, how do you satisfy, how do you bore, how do you intoxicate? What is bright today will fade tomorrow. The biting cold wind will soon blow over my brown-gray grave. Mother bends down, leaning towards the little child. I want to see her eyes again; her gaze is my starlight, everything else will fade away, everything is dying, everything longs to die. Only the eternal mother remains, that is our origin; her gentle fingers write our names in the fleeting air.

Self-Portrait#

Elegant because of every desire, sickly because of every vice, celebrating the sinking because of knowledge. Ready for every step forward, also ready for every step back, both incredibly brilliant and incredibly weary. Like an addict yielding to morphine, yielding to fate and suffering. Lonely, hollow, old, both Faust and the Brothers Karamazov, both beast and wise man. Absolutely candid, with no grand ambitions, completely exposed, childlike in fear of death. Waiting, filled with fatigue, waiting for death.

Postscript: Remembering Klingsor's Summer#

It has been ten years since Klingsor's summer shone, and I have been with him, singing the drunken songs of Klingsor in warm long nights accompanied by fine wine and beautiful women! How clear and different my nights are now, and how peaceful the days that follow! Even if there were a spell to bring me back to that madness—I would not want it anymore. No longer pushing the racing wheels back. Accepting the peaceful death in my blood, no longer seeking the absurd, is my wisdom and kindness now. Grasping a new happiness, a new magic, from now on, I sometimes am just a mirror, like the moon's reflection in the Rhine, allowing stars, deities, and angels to reflect within, lasting for hours.

Country Living#

I understand that I am a nomad, not a farmer; a seeker, not a holder. I have held onto rigid gods and doctrines in my heart for too long; this is my error, my pain, and my shared sin against the suffering of the world: by committing violence against myself, by not daring to walk the path of release, I have added sin and suffering to this world. The path of release goes neither left nor right; it leads to the inner self. Here, there is only the divine; here, there is only peace.

Mountain Pass#

Even while wandering, every road will lead us home.

That madness is no longer there, that desire is gone—no longer willing to show all I love the beautiful distance and personal happiness. From spring to summer in my heart. The greetings from foreign lands sound different now. It resonates in my chest, calming down. I no longer throw my hat into the air, no longer sing. But I am smiling, not just with my mouth, but with my soul, smiling with my eyes, smiling with my whole skin. When I feel with a different awareness than before, the rural fragrance that drifts up becomes more subtle, peaceful, sharp, more seasoned, and more grateful. Now, all of this belongs to me even more, the expression is richer, the layers more delicate. My desire no longer seeks to paint the hazy colors of the distant; my eyes are satisfied with what they see because they have learned to look. Since then, the world has become more beautiful. The world is becoming more beautiful. I am alone, yet very comfortable. I ask for nothing more, just want to be soaked in sunlight. I long for maturity. Ready to die, ready to be reborn. The world is becoming more beautiful.

Even while wandering, every road will lead us home.

That madness is no longer there, that desire is gone—no longer willing to show all I love the beautiful distance and personal happiness. From spring to summer in my heart. The greetings from foreign lands sound different now. It resonates in my chest, calming down. I no longer throw my hat into the air, no longer sing. But I am smiling, not just with my mouth, but with my soul, smiling with my eyes, smiling with my whole skin. When I feel with a different awareness than before, the rural fragrance that drifts up becomes more subtle, peaceful, sharp, more seasoned, and more grateful. Now, all of this belongs to me even more, the expression is richer, the layers more delicate. My desire no longer seeks to paint the hazy colors of the distant; my eyes are satisfied with what they see because they have learned to look. Since then, the world has become more beautiful. The world is becoming more beautiful. I am alone, yet very comfortable. I ask for nothing more, just want to be soaked in sunlight. I long for maturity. Ready to die, ready to be reborn. The world is becoming more beautiful.

Village#

But I am destined to be unfaithful, belonging to the kind that only falls in love with love and not with women.

We wanderers are accustomed to keeping our desires in a state of dissatisfaction, scattering the love that should be given to women freely among villages and mountains, lakes and valleys, sharing it with children on the road, beggars on the bridges, cows on the grass, birds, and butterflies. We detach love from specific objects; love itself is enough. Just as we wanderers do not seek a destination, but simply enjoy the journey itself, enjoy the process of being on the road. Oh, young woman with a fresh and beautiful face, I do not wish to know your name, nor do I wish to hold and nurture my love for you. You are not the purpose of love, but the motivation for me to love. I send this love away, to the flowers on the road, to a ray of sunlight in the wine glass, to the red onion dome of the church tower. It is you who makes me love this world.

But I am destined to be unfaithful, belonging to the kind that only falls in love with love and not with women.

We wanderers are accustomed to keeping our desires in a state of dissatisfaction, scattering the love that should be given to women freely among villages and mountains, lakes and valleys, sharing it with children on the road, beggars on the bridges, cows on the grass, birds, and butterflies. We detach love from specific objects; love itself is enough. Just as we wanderers do not seek a destination, but simply enjoy the journey itself, enjoy the process of being on the road. Oh, young woman with a fresh and beautiful face, I do not wish to know your name, nor do I wish to hold and nurture my love for you. You are not the purpose of love, but the motivation for me to love. I send this love away, to the flowers on the road, to a ray of sunlight in the wine glass, to the red onion dome of the church tower. It is you who makes me love this world.

Bridge#

Those things in life that once twisted and tormented me, that often blocked my heart with heavy fear, will no longer happen. With the last fatigue, peace will come, and the maternal earth will accept me. It is not towards an end, but towards a rebirth. There will be a bath, a little sleep, the old and decayed will sink within, and the new youth will begin to breathe. Thus, I am willing to walk this road again, with different feelings, listening to the stream, gazing at the night sky, again and again.

Farm#

Thoughts and worries seem to be left on the other side of the snowy mountains. I used to think too much among those worried people and troubling matters! Because over there, finding a reason for existence is incredibly important, despairingly important—otherwise, how can one live? It is immense pain that makes people profound. But here, there is no such problem—existence needs no reason; thought is just a game. One can feel: the world is beautiful, life is short. Not all desires are stable: I want another pair of eyes, a lung; I stretch my feet into the grass, hoping they grow a bit more.

Rain#

Heart, you have been torn apart so painfully; now, empty yourself to explore how joyful it can be, no need to think, no need to know, just breathe, just feel!

Trees#

Trees have always been my most earnest mentors. I admire the trees that live in family groups in forests and thickets, but I admire even more the trees that grow alone. They are not weak evaders but great loners, like Beethoven and Nietzsche—their treetops chant the world, their roots are anchored in eternity. They do not get lost in solitude but pursue a goal with all their life force: to realize that unique law that resides in the heart, to perfect themselves, to reveal their true selves. Nothing is more sacred, more exemplary than a strong and beautiful tree: when a tree is cut down, its fatal wound exposed to the sun, you can read all its history on the light-colored cross-section of the stump: the growth rings and scars faithfully record all struggles, hardships, diseases, happiness, prosperity, years of disaster and abundance, the blows and storms it has endured. And every farmer's child knows that the most solid and noble trees have the densest growth rings; they grow high on the mountains, producing the most unbreakable, strongest, and most exemplary branches in endless dangers. Trees are sages. Those who understand how to converse with trees, who listen to trees, can attain truth. They do not preach with dogmas and means; they do not care for trivialities; they only teach the fundamental truths of life.

When we feel sad and can no longer endure life, a tree will say to us: Be quiet, be quiet! Look at me! Life is neither easy nor hard. Let the divine speak in your heart, and those delusions will fall silent. You are anxious because the path you walk has deviated from mother and homeland; but in fact, every step you take, every day, brings you closer to your mother. The homeland is not here or there; except in your heart, the homeland will not be anywhere. When I hear the trees rustling in the night wind, my heart is torn with a longing to wander the world. Listening for a long time, this wandering desire reveals its core and meaning: it seems to escape pain, but in fact, it is not; it is a memory of homeland, of mother, a longing for a new meaning in life, a path back home. Every road leads to home, every step is rebirth, every step is death, every grave is a womb. When we harbor fear of our delusions, the trees sing like this at night. The thoughts of trees are slower, longer, and more peaceful, just as they have a longer life than we do. When we still cannot understand trees, they are wiser than we are; once we learn to listen, our short, hurried, foolish minds will gain unparalleled joy. Those who learn to listen to the language of trees will no longer desire to become a tree, no longer seek outward: this is the homeland, this is happiness.

Trees have always been my most earnest mentors. I admire the trees that live in family groups in forests and thickets, but I admire even more the trees that grow alone. They are not weak evaders but great loners, like Beethoven and Nietzsche—their treetops chant the world, their roots are anchored in eternity. They do not get lost in solitude but pursue a goal with all their life force: to realize that unique law that resides in the heart, to perfect themselves, to reveal their true selves. Nothing is more sacred, more exemplary than a strong and beautiful tree: when a tree is cut down, its fatal wound exposed to the sun, you can read all its history on the light-colored cross-section of the stump: the growth rings and scars faithfully record all struggles, hardships, diseases, happiness, prosperity, years of disaster and abundance, the blows and storms it has endured. And every farmer's child knows that the most solid and noble trees have the densest growth rings; they grow high on the mountains, producing the most unbreakable, strongest, and most exemplary branches in endless dangers. Trees are sages. Those who understand how to converse with trees, who listen to trees, can attain truth. They do not preach with dogmas and means; they do not care for trivialities; they only teach the fundamental truths of life.

When we feel sad and can no longer endure life, a tree will say to us: Be quiet, be quiet! Look at me! Life is neither easy nor hard. Let the divine speak in your heart, and those delusions will fall silent. You are anxious because the path you walk has deviated from mother and homeland; but in fact, every step you take, every day, brings you closer to your mother. The homeland is not here or there; except in your heart, the homeland will not be anywhere. When I hear the trees rustling in the night wind, my heart is torn with a longing to wander the world. Listening for a long time, this wandering desire reveals its core and meaning: it seems to escape pain, but in fact, it is not; it is a memory of homeland, of mother, a longing for a new meaning in life, a path back home. Every road leads to home, every step is rebirth, every step is death, every grave is a womb. When we harbor fear of our delusions, the trees sing like this at night. The thoughts of trees are slower, longer, and more peaceful, just as they have a longer life than we do. When we still cannot understand trees, they are wiser than we are; once we learn to listen, our short, hurried, foolish minds will gain unparalleled joy. Those who learn to listen to the language of trees will no longer desire to become a tree, no longer seek outward: this is the homeland, this is happiness.

Rainy Day#

I know why this is so; it is not because of the wine I drank yesterday, nor the broken bed I slept on last night, nor the rainy day, but because the devil is there plucking my heartstrings one by one, creating a harsh noise. That fear has come again, stemming from childhood dreams and fairy tales, from the fear of a student's fate, the fear of a monotonous and closed existence, that melancholy, that disgust. How dull the world tastes; tomorrow I will still get up, eat, live, how terrifying is that! Why still live? Why still be so foolishly happy? Why not jump into the lake early? Not a blade of grass grows on the opposite side. You cannot be both a wanderer and an artist while also being a citizen and a respectable healthy person. You will experience intoxication, and you will also experience the pain after intoxication. You must accept the beautiful dreams of sunlight, and you must also accept the disgusting filth. Everything is within you, gold and excrement, joy and pain, the laughter of children and the fear of death. Accept everything, do not escape anything, do not try to deceive yourself! You are neither a citizen nor a Greek; you are not harmonious, nor your own master; you are a bird in the storm! Let the wind rage, let the self roll in the storm! You have told too many lies! How many times have you pretended to be harmonious and wise? Even in verses and books, pretending to be happy, pretending to be clear! Those people play heroes in wars of invasion, even though their guts are trembling! Oh God, how pitiful humans are, monkeys and liars—especially artists, especially poets, especially me!

My lovely and wonderful life must be repaid with such gloomy days. Such days and nights will come sooner or later, these fears, disgust, and despair. But I will live on, and I will still love life.

I know why this is so; it is not because of the wine I drank yesterday, nor the broken bed I slept on last night, nor the rainy day, but because the devil is there plucking my heartstrings one by one, creating a harsh noise. That fear has come again, stemming from childhood dreams and fairy tales, from the fear of a student's fate, the fear of a monotonous and closed existence, that melancholy, that disgust. How dull the world tastes; tomorrow I will still get up, eat, live, how terrifying is that! Why still live? Why still be so foolishly happy? Why not jump into the lake early? Not a blade of grass grows on the opposite side. You cannot be both a wanderer and an artist while also being a citizen and a respectable healthy person. You will experience intoxication, and you will also experience the pain after intoxication. You must accept the beautiful dreams of sunlight, and you must also accept the disgusting filth. Everything is within you, gold and excrement, joy and pain, the laughter of children and the fear of death. Accept everything, do not escape anything, do not try to deceive yourself! You are neither a citizen nor a Greek; you are not harmonious, nor your own master; you are a bird in the storm! Let the wind rage, let the self roll in the storm! You have told too many lies! How many times have you pretended to be harmonious and wise? Even in verses and books, pretending to be happy, pretending to be clear! Those people play heroes in wars of invasion, even though their guts are trembling! Oh God, how pitiful humans are, monkeys and liars—especially artists, especially poets, especially me!

My lovely and wonderful life must be repaid with such gloomy days. Such days and nights will come sooner or later, these fears, disgust, and despair. But I will live on, and I will still love life.

Little Chapel#

The path to piety varies from person to person. For me, it must go through many mistakes, sufferings, self-examinations, and immense foolishness; yes, it must go through the primitive forest of foolishness. I was once a free thinker, believing that piety was a mental illness; I was once an ascetic, letting nails pierce my flesh. At that time, I did not know that piety means health and happiness. Piety is trust. Simple, healthy, and harmless humans, children, and wild animals all possess trust. We, who are neither simple nor harmless, can only find trust in the detours. Trusting oneself is a beginning: without using karma, self-blame, and guilt, without using asceticism and sacrifice, one can also attain faith. All these "efforts" are directed towards a god outside of oneself; however, the god we must believe in is within the heart. How can one who says "no" to oneself say "yes" to God?

Of course, the thorny path is not walked in vain; those who return home after long journeys are different from those who have only stayed in one place for a long time. They love more sincerely and can transcend fairness and delusion. Fairness is the virtue of those who stay; it is an ancient, primitive human virtue. But we, this renewed humanity, do not need such virtues; we only recognize one happiness: love, and one virtue: trust.

And we, these people who have wandered the world, our piety and faith are lonely. Those who adhere to old beliefs do not wish to associate with us, while the currents of the world have long surpassed our islands, flowing far away.

The path to piety varies from person to person. For me, it must go through many mistakes, sufferings, self-examinations, and immense foolishness; yes, it must go through the primitive forest of foolishness. I was once a free thinker, believing that piety was a mental illness; I was once an ascetic, letting nails pierce my flesh. At that time, I did not know that piety means health and happiness. Piety is trust. Simple, healthy, and harmless humans, children, and wild animals all possess trust. We, who are neither simple nor harmless, can only find trust in the detours. Trusting oneself is a beginning: without using karma, self-blame, and guilt, without using asceticism and sacrifice, one can also attain faith. All these "efforts" are directed towards a god outside of oneself; however, the god we must believe in is within the heart. How can one who says "no" to oneself say "yes" to God?

Of course, the thorny path is not walked in vain; those who return home after long journeys are different from those who have only stayed in one place for a long time. They love more sincerely and can transcend fairness and delusion. Fairness is the virtue of those who stay; it is an ancient, primitive human virtue. But we, this renewed humanity, do not need such virtues; we only recognize one happiness: love, and one virtue: trust.

And we, these people who have wandered the world, our piety and faith are lonely. Those who adhere to old beliefs do not wish to associate with us, while the currents of the world have long surpassed our islands, flowing far away.

Afternoon Rest#

After eating, I spread my jacket on the grass, resting my head on it, watching my little smoke offering rise into the pale blue sky. I feel like I should have some music and celebration, so I search my mind for a few poems by Eichendorff that I can recite. I do not think of many, and some I have forgotten the words to. I imitate the tunes of Hugo Wolf and Osma Schreck to recite these verses. "To the Wanderer" and "You Loyal and Lovely Lute" are the most beautiful. These songs are full of melancholy, but melancholy is just a summer cloud; behind it is sunshine and trust. This is Eichendorff; in this regard, he surpasses Morike and Rilke.

Overcast Sky#

I deserve my sins; I am the one who brings disorder and resentment to the world.

Red House#

And my life has no center; I swing between two poles, walking many roads in between. At times longing for home, at times longing to be on the road; at times needing solitude and a monastery, at times needing love and connection; I collect books and beautiful paintings, then pass them on to others; I indulge and squander, then turn to asceticism. I once believed in life as a reality to be revered, but the result is that I only regard it as a practical thing to understand and love. But "self-change" is not a matter of the self; it is a matter of miracles. If you seek, call, and assist miracles, they will only evade you. My task is to swing amidst many tense oppositions and be ready when miracles strike me; my task is to never be satisfied, to endure unease.

I will still walk many detours, and I will feel disappointed by many "realizations." But everything will eventually realize its meaning. There, where contradictions and oppositions cease, is nirvana. The star of beloved desire still burns brightly for me.

And my life has no center; I swing between two poles, walking many roads in between. At times longing for home, at times longing to be on the road; at times needing solitude and a monastery, at times needing love and connection; I collect books and beautiful paintings, then pass them on to others; I indulge and squander, then turn to asceticism. I once believed in life as a reality to be revered, but the result is that I only regard it as a practical thing to understand and love. But "self-change" is not a matter of the self; it is a matter of miracles. If you seek, call, and assist miracles, they will only evade you. My task is to swing amidst many tense oppositions and be ready when miracles strike me; my task is to never be satisfied, to endure unease.

I will still walk many detours, and I will feel disappointed by many "realizations." But everything will eventually realize its meaning. There, where contradictions and oppositions cease, is nirvana. The star of beloved desire still burns brightly for me.

Translator's Postscript#

In this crisis-ridden time, you write, paint, wander, drink, trying to combat depression and self-heal. In pursuit of inner truth, you reject all worldly labels: willingly abandoning a stable life, becoming a destitute wanderer; willingly giving up the sage role recognized by the world, revealing madness; willingly breaking all self-glory, sinking to the dust. Even if it hurts, even if it bleeds, as long as you can feel that the soul is alive, that is enough. You rush under the blazing sun of Ticino, faintly knowing that the periodic dark tide in life is only temporary; you are dying, but you will also be reborn, feeling the golden flow running through your body, feeling the blood in your heart burning fiercely. In the summer of 1919, you saw the stars and moon spinning in the sky, understanding that "where contradictions and oppositions cease, is nirvana."

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