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"Born Sensitive" Reading Notes#

Author: Elaine Aron
Reading Time: 5 hours

These are the notes and excerpts I recorded while reading "Born Sensitive" on WeChat Reading.

Chapter 1 Sensitive Traits Make You Unique#

A sensitive body and a sensitive soul bring you sharp intuition, insight, creativity, and passion, and also give you spirituality.

A sensitive body and a sensitive soul bring you sharp intuition, insight, creativity, and passion, and also give you spirituality.

Christine's Dangerous Year#

Everyone will eventually experience a stressful life filled with tension, and highly sensitive people react particularly strongly to such stimuli. If you view this reaction as a fundamental flaw, it will exacerbate the stress brought on by life's crises, leading to feelings of despair and helplessness, as if you are worthless.

Everyone will eventually experience a stressful life filled with tension, and highly sensitive people react particularly strongly to such stimuli. If you view this reaction as a fundamental flaw, it will exacerbate the stress brought on by life's crises, leading to feelings of despair and helplessness, as if you are worthless.

The Duality of Talent#

Highly sensitive people often become more visionary prophets, intuitively powerful artists, or inventors; they are more responsible, cautious, and clever.

Highly sensitive people often become more visionary prophets, intuitively powerful artists, or inventors; they are more responsible, cautious, and clever.

Sensitive Traits Make You Unique#

Those with sensitive traits may sometimes be less happy than others, or find it harder to be happy. To highly sensitive individuals, the meaning of life and death, and the complexity of the world, are profound—our thoughts are rich and colorful, not simply black and white. Most non-highly sensitive people do not like to ponder these questions; they feel that repeatedly thinking about them will surely lead to unhappiness.

Those with sensitive traits may sometimes be less happy than others, or find it harder to be happy. To highly sensitive individuals, the meaning of life and death, and the complexity of the world, are profound—our thoughts are rich and colorful, not simply black and white. Most non-highly sensitive people do not like to ponder these questions; they feel that repeatedly thinking about them will surely lead to unhappiness.

Charles's Story#

"Spend more time connecting with the outside world—do not fear your sensitivity."

"Spend more time connecting with the outside world—do not fear your sensitivity."

Reasons to Be Proud#

The key is that you are naturally a counselor and thinker, a spiritual and moral leader in society. You absolutely have reason to be proud of yourself.

The key is that you are naturally a counselor and thinker, a spiritual and moral leader in society. You absolutely have reason to be proud of yourself.

Chapter 2 Exploring Sensitive Traits#

An innate trait. Sensitivity exists, so there is no need to worry.

An innate trait. Sensitivity exists, so there is no need to worry.

Growth Experiences Affect Sensitivity#

To avoid bad things happening, the best approach is to avoid everything. Of course, the more he avoids the world, the stranger it becomes to him. Imagine how terrifying such a world would be!

To avoid bad things happening, the best approach is to avoid everything. Of course, the more he avoids the world, the stranger it becomes to him. Imagine how terrifying such a world would be!

Cortisol and Sleep#

Thus, we can say that highly sensitive people should not retreat from the world but should step into it and try various things, which is very important. However, caregivers must provide them with a sense of security, and their explorations must be successful; otherwise, they will feel that staying away from new things is the right approach. This process even begins before you learn to speak.

Thus, we can say that highly sensitive people should not retreat from the world but should step into it and try various things, which is very important. However, caregivers must provide them with a sense of security, and their explorations must be successful; otherwise, they will feel that staying away from new things is the right approach. This process even begins before you learn to speak.

Deep Psychology#

Jung believed that, naturally, such individuals are more easily influenced by their own unconscious, which provides them with "the most important information," giving them "foresight." In Jung's view, the unconscious contains important wisdom worth learning, and if one can engage in deep communication with the unconscious in life, their life will be more impactful and yield satisfying results.

Jung believed that, naturally, such individuals are more easily influenced by their own unconscious, which provides them with "the most important information," giving them "foresight." In Jung's view, the unconscious contains important wisdom worth learning, and if one can engage in deep communication with the unconscious in life, their life will be more impactful and yield satisfying results.

Chapter 3 Please Care for Your Body Self#

Take care of yourself. Listen to yourself. Create a safe haven for your sensitivity.

Take care of yourself. Listen to yourself. Create a safe haven for your sensitivity.

Body and Infant#

From here on, take good care of your body, just like you would care for your original infant self; as the saying goes, "A good start is half the success."

From here on, take good care of your body, just like you would care for your original infant self; as the saying goes, "A good start is half the success."

Sense of Security and Highly Sensitive Body#

Also, what does "learning to walk early" mean? Is it to attract your family's attention through achievements and accomplishments? Regardless, if your body does not perform to your satisfaction, will you still love it?

Also, what does "learning to walk early" mean? Is it to attract your family's attention through achievements and accomplishments? Regardless, if your body does not perform to your satisfaction, will you still love it?

Over-closure#

If you want to gradually endure this society and further enjoy its pleasures, the way is to engage with society.

If you want to gradually endure this society and further enjoy its pleasures, the way is to engage with society.

Over-participation#

And the result? You certainly cannot do it all. You must learn to make choices. Wanting to do everything is also a form of arrogance that will only harm your own body.

And the result? You certainly cannot do it all. You must learn to make choices. Wanting to do everything is also a form of arrogance that will only harm your own body.

Various Types of Rest#

If you are under stress or experiencing other intense emotions, starting to have insomnia, or showing other signs of losing balance, you should force yourself to schedule more playtime.

Another form of rest, which is the most essential, is what is called "transcendence"—that is, rising above everything, usually achieved through meditation, contemplation, or prayer.

If you are under stress or experiencing other intense emotions, starting to have insomnia, or showing other signs of losing balance, you should force yourself to schedule more playtime.

Another form of rest, which is the most essential, is what is called "transcendence"—that is, rising above everything, usually achieved through meditation, contemplation, or prayer.

Strategies to Prevent Over-excitement#

When repeatedly chanting mantras or prayers, if your mind keeps recalling the things that excite you, the key is that you must not lose confidence in yourself; do not stop, keep chanting, and you will gradually become a bit calmer.

Water can also be very helpful. When in a state of over-excitement, it is advisable to keep drinking water—one large glass every hour; take a walk by the water, enjoy the flow, and listen to the sound of the water. If possible, jump into the water for a bath or swim. Bathrooms and hot springs have always been popular for a reason. Walking is also a basic method to relax the body and mind. A familiar rhythm can soothe you. The rhythm of slow breathing is the same, especially abdominal breathing. Slightly exert yourself to slowly exhale, like blowing out a candle. Or just focus on your breath—this old friend will help you calm down. Consciousness often mimics the body. You may have noticed that when you walk, your body tends to lean slightly forward, as if rushing toward the future, and your mood will also become hurried. Therefore, you should keep your body balanced, do not let your shoulders droop or your head hang down as if carrying a heavy burden. Stand up straight and unload that burden.

When repeatedly chanting mantras or prayers, if your mind keeps recalling the things that excite you, the key is that you must not lose confidence in yourself; do not stop, keep chanting, and you will gradually become a bit calmer.

Water can also be very helpful. When in a state of over-excitement, it is advisable to keep drinking water—one large glass every hour; take a walk by the water, enjoy the flow, and listen to the sound of the water. If possible, jump into the water for a bath or swim. Bathrooms and hot springs have always been popular for a reason. Walking is also a basic method to relax the body and mind. A familiar rhythm can soothe you. The rhythm of slow breathing is the same, especially abdominal breathing. Slightly exert yourself to slowly exhale, like blowing out a candle. Or just focus on your breath—this old friend will help you calm down. Consciousness often mimics the body. You may have noticed that when you walk, your body tends to lean slightly forward, as if rushing toward the future, and your mood will also become hurried. Therefore, you should keep your body balanced, do not let your shoulders droop or your head hang down as if carrying a heavy burden. Stand up straight and unload that burden.

The Harbor of Life#

No matter what happens, no one and nothing can take away the love, faith, creativity, psychological training, or spiritual cultivation deep within them. If your sense of security comes more from an intangible harbor, it means you have gradually gained mature wisdom.

No matter what happens, no one and nothing can take away the love, faith, creativity, psychological training, or spiritual cultivation deep within them. If your sense of security comes more from an intangible harbor, it means you have gradually gained mature wisdom.

Listen, the Infant/Body Self is Speaking#

Please do not force me to do things I cannot do. When you do this, I feel helpless and wounded. Please, protect me.

Give me some time; I can get used to anything, but I cannot adapt to a lot of sudden changes. Please be prepared for this; even if others can do it and you do not want to lag behind, do not rush me; let me take my time.

Please do not force me to do things I cannot do. When you do this, I feel helpless and wounded. Please, protect me.

Give me some time; I can get used to anything, but I cannot adapt to a lot of sudden changes. Please be prepared for this; even if others can do it and you do not want to lag behind, do not rush me; let me take my time.

Chapter 4 Reshape the Past, Learn to Be Your Own Parent#

Accumulate bits of confidence and hope to replace frustration; it is never too late.

Accumulate bits of confidence and hope to replace frustration; it is never too late.

The Little Fairy in the Cage#

Once, she dreamed of pushing a crying baby who was starving, surrounded by food, but the baby did not want to eat anything. We find that this baby craves love and attention.

Once, she dreamed of pushing a crying baby who was starving, surrounded by food, but the baby did not want to eat anything. We find that this baby craves love and attention.

The Protection of Security#

When you are in an over-excited state, can you expect help from others, or will they only exacerbate your over-excitement? Every day brings lessons.

When you are in an over-excited state, can you expect help from others, or will they only exacerbate your over-excitement? Every day brings lessons.

New Fears in the Outside World#

You may have realized how much expectation you carry and how difficult it is for your hesitation to be understood. Your sensitivity acts like an "antenna," receiving all emotional signals from others, even the feelings they want to hide from you or themselves. Some feelings are frightening (assuming your survival depends on these people); you may suppress your understanding of them, but your fear still exists, manifesting as more "irrational" fear.

You may have realized how much expectation you carry and how difficult it is for your hesitation to be understood. Your sensitivity acts like an "antenna," receiving all emotional signals from others, even the feelings they want to hide from you or themselves. Some feelings are frightening (assuming your survival depends on these people); you may suppress your understanding of them, but your fear still exists, manifesting as more "irrational" fear.

Learn to Be Your Own Parent#

1. Just as parents would not let a toddling child enter a completely new environment alone, do not face it alone; go with others. 2. Just as parents would first discuss the new environment with their child, you can also discuss the fearful parts with yourself. Focus on familiar and safe factors. 3. Just as parents always allow their child to leave when they are too agitated, you can also allow yourself to go home when needed. 4. Just as parents believe that their child will be fine after a while, you should also believe that after adapting to all the unfamiliar stimuli, the fearful part of yourself will be fine. 5. Just as parents are careful not to overreact to their child's fears, when the fearful part of yourself needs help, let the braver part of yourself help it, without excessive anxiety. Also remember that an over-excited state may be mistaken for anxiety. As your excellent parent, you can gently comfort yourself: "There are indeed many things happening here, making your heart race, right?"

1. Just as parents would not let a toddling child enter a completely new environment alone, do not face it alone; go with others. 2. Just as parents would first discuss the new environment with their child, you can also discuss the fearful parts with yourself. Focus on familiar and safe factors. 3. Just as parents always allow their child to leave when they are too agitated, you can also allow yourself to go home when needed. 4. Just as parents believe that their child will be fine after a while, you should also believe that after adapting to all the unfamiliar stimuli, the fearful part of yourself will be fine. 5. Just as parents are careful not to overreact to their child's fears, when the fearful part of yourself needs help, let the braver part of yourself help it, without excessive anxiety. Also remember that an over-excited state may be mistaken for anxiety. As your excellent parent, you can gently comfort yourself: "There are indeed many things happening here, making your heart race, right?"

Advance or Retreat#

Jealousy awakens us to a truth: if we want something, it is best to strive for it while we still have time; otherwise, we can only fantasize and gain nothing.

In growing up, another equally important truth is not to think that we can do everything. Life is short, and we must face various limitations and take responsibility for ourselves. Each of us receives some "good" things, just as each of us contributes some good things to this world. But no one can have everything, nor can anyone contribute everything for others.

Jealousy awakens us to a truth: if we want something, it is best to strive for it while we still have time; otherwise, we can only fantasize and gain nothing.

In growing up, another equally important truth is not to think that we can do everything. Life is short, and we must face various limitations and take responsibility for ourselves. Each of us receives some "good" things, just as each of us contributes some good things to this world. But no one can have everything, nor can anyone contribute everything for others.

Take It Slow#

Accepting the parts of ourselves that we cannot change is a wise approach. Likewise, we should remember to accumulate bits of confidence and hope to replace frustration; it is never too late.

Accepting the parts of ourselves that we cannot change is a wise approach. Likewise, we should remember to accumulate bits of confidence and hope to replace frustration; it is never too late.

Your School Life#

Highly sensitive people may perform poorly in school due to over-excitement and shame. However, most highly sensitive individuals love reading, enjoy studying quietly, and excel in their studies. Your over-excitement may affect the development of social skills or athletic abilities; to cope with this, you might find a close friend to play with. Perhaps you will become known for inventing fun games, writing interesting stories, or creating beautiful drawings. In fact, if you enter school with confidence in yourself and your sensitive traits, just like Charles in Chapter 1, you are likely to become a true student leader. If not, as one of my sensitive friends, who is also a psychologist, said: "Do you think truly outstanding people have it easier in school?"

Highly sensitive people may perform poorly in school due to over-excitement and shame. However, most highly sensitive individuals love reading, enjoy studying quietly, and excel in their studies. Your over-excitement may affect the development of social skills or athletic abilities; to cope with this, you might find a close friend to play with. Perhaps you will become known for inventing fun games, writing interesting stories, or creating beautiful drawings. In fact, if you enter school with confidence in yourself and your sensitive traits, just like Charles in Chapter 1, you are likely to become a true student leader. If not, as one of my sensitive friends, who is also a psychologist, said: "Do you think truly outstanding people have it easier in school?"

Parenting Your "Genius" Self#

Parenting your "genius" self: 1. Appreciate your talents rather than what you do. 2. Praise yourself for daring to take risks and learn new things, rather than praising your successes; this will help you deal with failure correctly. 3. Do not constantly compare yourself to others, as this will make you increasingly competitive. 4. Seek opportunities to communicate with other talented individuals. 5. Do not overfill your schedule; leave time for thinking and dreaming. 6. Expect to be more realistic. 7. Do not hide your talents. 8. Be your own supporter and stand up for your rights. 9. Accept whether your interests are broad or narrow.

Parenting your "genius" self: 1. Appreciate your talents rather than what you do. 2. Praise yourself for daring to take risks and learn new things, rather than praising your successes; this will help you deal with failure correctly. 3. Do not constantly compare yourself to others, as this will make you increasingly competitive. 4. Seek opportunities to communicate with other talented individuals. 5. Do not overfill your schedule; leave time for thinking and dreaming. 6. Expect to be more realistic. 7. Do not hide your talents. 8. Be your own supporter and stand up for your rights. 9. Accept whether your interests are broad or narrow.

The Sensitivity of Adolescence#

They may also misattribute their energy or anxiety to sexual aspects, as the real causes of anxiety are harder to face.

Delaying is different from avoiding; it is a good strategy, a gradual approach. It is fine to apply it temporarily.

Even if sensitive students want to step away from the crowd for a break, they still face some pressure: to conform, to make friends, and to meet everyone's expectations. No matter what issues you encounter in college, you need to view those experiences from a new perspective. This is not a personal failure.

They may also misattribute their energy or anxiety to sexual aspects, as the real causes of anxiety are harder to face.

Delaying is different from avoiding; it is a good strategy, a gradual approach. It is fine to apply it temporarily.

Even if sensitive students want to step away from the crowd for a break, they still face some pressure: to conform, to make friends, and to meet everyone's expectations. No matter what issues you encounter in college, you need to view those experiences from a new perspective. This is not a personal failure.

Growing Up#

Regardless, if you need to slow down to do these things, do not worry; there are many people like you.

They ultimately have to face the outside world alone while needing to release their strong intuition, creativity, and other talents. If their first marriage does not provide them with this space for growth, marriage becomes a stumbling block when they are finally ready to leave home and become more independent.

Even without obvious sexual abuse, all young women feel a sense of wounded self-esteem when they reach adolescence and realize they are seen as objects of desire. Highly sensitive girls feel this even more deeply, so they often choose to protect themselves first.

You need to look at past failures, traumas, shyness, embarrassing moments, and various things from a different perspective, a more calm, objective, and passionate perspective.

Regardless, if you need to slow down to do these things, do not worry; there are many people like you.

They ultimately have to face the outside world alone while needing to release their strong intuition, creativity, and other talents. If their first marriage does not provide them with this space for growth, marriage becomes a stumbling block when they are finally ready to leave home and become more independent.

Even without obvious sexual abuse, all young women feel a sense of wounded self-esteem when they reach adolescence and realize they are seen as objects of desire. Highly sensitive girls feel this even more deeply, so they often choose to protect themselves first.

You need to look at past failures, traumas, shyness, embarrassing moments, and various things from a different perspective, a more calm, objective, and passionate perspective.

Removing "Shyness" from Self-Concept#

As a highly sensitive person, sometimes you just do not want to enter an over-excited state. Others may think you are shy and afraid, but they do not realize that you simply prefer solitude. You are the one who refuses, not the one who is rejected (non-highly sensitive people naturally need a stronger level of stimulation to feel comfortable and also worry about being rejected).

As a highly sensitive person, sometimes you just do not want to enter an over-excited state. Others may think you are shy and afraid, but they do not realize that you simply prefer solitude. You are the one who refuses, not the one who is rejected (non-highly sensitive people naturally need a stronger level of stimulation to feel comfortable and also worry about being rejected).

Five Ways to Handle Over-excitement in Social Situations#

Remember, over-excitement is not necessarily due to fear. 2. Find a highly sensitive person to chat with. 3. Use various methods to reduce the level of excitement. 4. Discover a good "personality mask" (which will be discussed later) and consciously use it. 5. Explain your sensitive traits to others. Perhaps your over-excitement has nothing to do with the people around you. Do not underestimate the power of realizing this. If others evaluate you based on your performance in social situations, what they see is not the real you, but someone who is temporarily flustered due to over-excitement. If they see you calm, noticing details, they will definitely look at you differently. This is absolutely true because you have friends who appreciate you.

At the same time, use all the suggestions from Chapter 3 to reduce your level of stimulation: take a break, go for a walk, take a deep breath, move around; think about your options, maybe you should leave, or perhaps staying somewhere else is better, like by a window, in a hallway, or at the door. Find a safe harbor—something or someone familiar and calming that can support you at this moment.

Remember, over-excitement is not necessarily due to fear. 2. Find a highly sensitive person to chat with. 3. Use various methods to reduce the level of excitement. 4. Discover a good "personality mask" (which will be discussed later) and consciously use it. 5. Explain your sensitive traits to others. Perhaps your over-excitement has nothing to do with the people around you. Do not underestimate the power of realizing this. If others evaluate you based on your performance in social situations, what they see is not the real you, but someone who is temporarily flustered due to over-excitement. If they see you calm, noticing details, they will definitely look at you differently. This is absolutely true because you have friends who appreciate you.

At the same time, use all the suggestions from Chapter 3 to reduce your level of stimulation: take a break, go for a walk, take a deep breath, move around; think about your options, maybe you should leave, or perhaps staying somewhere else is better, like by a window, in a hallway, or at the door. Find a safe harbor—something or someone familiar and calming that can support you at this moment.

The Introversion and Extroversion of Sensitivity#

Introverted individuals simply turn inward, facing their subjective selves, rather than turning outward to face objective objects. Introversion arises because a person needs to protect the "subjective" aspect of their inner life and places greater importance on it, especially not wanting it to be overwhelmed by the "objective" world.

Introverted individuals simply turn inward, facing their subjective selves, rather than turning outward to face objective objects. Introversion arises because a person needs to protect the "subjective" aspect of their inner life and places greater importance on it, especially not wanting it to be overwhelmed by the "objective" world.

A Reserved Way of Making Friends is Also Good#

Because you have sharp intuition, you likely enjoy discussing complex topics like philosophy, emotions, and inner struggles.

Because you have sharp intuition, you likely enjoy discussing complex topics like philosophy, emotions, and inner struggles.

Personality Masks and Proper Behavior#

An appropriate personality mask and good behavior are also meant to save face for others; telling some kind-hearted lies, especially when facing unfamiliar people, is sometimes even more necessary.

An appropriate personality mask and good behavior are also meant to save face for others; telling some kind-hearted lies, especially when facing unfamiliar people, is sometimes even more necessary.

My Experience Learning Belly Dance#

First, take some time to express your feelings, then inquire about the specific details of the project; this can showcase your greatest wealth: sensitive and delicate emotions. This way, you will also encourage the other party to reveal more of their inner world, which is exactly the topic you enjoy discussing.

However, if you candidly acknowledge your human flaws while conveying that you still like yourself, it can also be positive. My favorite quote from Captain Picard in "Star Trek: The Next Generation" is: "I have made many wonderful mistakes in my life." This statement expresses humility, wisdom, and confidence! Of course, if the other person reveals some painful or embarrassing things to you, then if you can do the same, the conversation will become much deeper.

First, take some time to express your feelings, then inquire about the specific details of the project; this can showcase your greatest wealth: sensitive and delicate emotions. This way, you will also encourage the other party to reveal more of their inner world, which is exactly the topic you enjoy discussing.

However, if you candidly acknowledge your human flaws while conveying that you still like yourself, it can also be positive. My favorite quote from Captain Picard in "Star Trek: The Next Generation" is: "I have made many wonderful mistakes in my life." This statement expresses humility, wisdom, and confidence! Of course, if the other person reveals some painful or embarrassing things to you, then if you can do the same, the conversation will become much deeper.

Chapter 6 Following Talent to Navigate Careers#

As long as you find a way that suits you, there is almost nothing you cannot do.

As long as you find a way that suits you, there is almost nothing you cannot do.

Careers for Highly Sensitive People#

Highly sensitive people are also good at continuously enriching their knowledge and experiences. The richer one's life experiences (within our tolerable range), the wiser the advice we offer.

Highly sensitive people are also good at continuously enriching their knowledge and experiences. The richer one's life experiences (within our tolerable range), the wiser the advice we offer.

Do Work That Calls to You#

According to Carl Jung's thoughts, we view each person's life as an individuation process—you are born into this world to explore questions and seek answers.

The key is that the process of seeking answers can deeply satisfy the soul.

This does not mean only doing easy or interesting things, but rather engaging in work that feels most suitable for you, the work that calls to you. Being able to do such work is the greatest happiness in life.

The problem is, when highly sensitive people pursue happiness, who will pay for it? Jung consistently argued that it is a grave mistake to support such people without compensation. I completely agree with this. If highly sensitive people are not forced to face reality, they will lose touch with the rest of the world, becoming mere talkers, completely ignored in what they say.

The most important aspect of individuation is the ability to hear the voice of one's inner self amidst all the noise. Some of us are always dealing with others' needs, perhaps out of responsibility or to achieve success—money, fame, security. Then others will place pressure on us because we do not want to upset anyone. Many highly sensitive people eventually enter what is called a "free" state, although some may not achieve this until later in life. They focus more on their inner questions and inner voices rather than on the questions others demand they answer. Sometimes, in our eagerness to please, we find it hard to achieve a state of freedom. However, our intuition also hears the questions that must be answered from within. These two strong and conflicting thoughts may cause us significant turmoil for years. If your journey toward freedom progresses slowly, do not worry, as this is unavoidable.

According to Carl Jung's thoughts, we view each person's life as an individuation process—you are born into this world to explore questions and seek answers.

The key is that the process of seeking answers can deeply satisfy the soul.

This does not mean only doing easy or interesting things, but rather engaging in work that feels most suitable for you, the work that calls to you. Being able to do such work is the greatest happiness in life.

The problem is, when highly sensitive people pursue happiness, who will pay for it? Jung consistently argued that it is a grave mistake to support such people without compensation. I completely agree with this. If highly sensitive people are not forced to face reality, they will lose touch with the rest of the world, becoming mere talkers, completely ignored in what they say.

The most important aspect of individuation is the ability to hear the voice of one's inner self amidst all the noise. Some of us are always dealing with others' needs, perhaps out of responsibility or to achieve success—money, fame, security. Then others will place pressure on us because we do not want to upset anyone. Many highly sensitive people eventually enter what is called a "free" state, although some may not achieve this until later in life. They focus more on their inner questions and inner voices rather than on the questions others demand they answer. Sometimes, in our eagerness to please, we find it hard to achieve a state of freedom. However, our intuition also hears the questions that must be answered from within. These two strong and conflicting thoughts may cause us significant turmoil for years. If your journey toward freedom progresses slowly, do not worry, as this is unavoidable.

Cultivating Decision-Making and Confidence#

Intuitive and introverted highly sensitive people also face another problem: we may not fully understand the facts. We tend to follow our intuition and dislike asking questions. However, gathering specific information from others is an important part of the individuation process, especially for introverted or intuitive individuals.

But if you have never tried, why would you think this is scarier than death?

Now they are moving toward new goals, and what they have learned from themselves and the world makes them wiser than before. As long as they try, there is no such thing as complete failure; there will always be gains. At the very least, they are now more confident than when they were sitting on the sidelines.

Intuitive and introverted highly sensitive people also face another problem: we may not fully understand the facts. We tend to follow our intuition and dislike asking questions. However, gathering specific information from others is an important part of the individuation process, especially for introverted or intuitive individuals.

But if you have never tried, why would you think this is scarier than death?

Now they are moving toward new goals, and what they have learned from themselves and the world makes them wiser than before. As long as they try, there is no such thing as complete failure; there will always be gains. At the very least, they are now more confident than when they were sitting on the sidelines.

Turning Your Passion into a Paying Job#

Starting your own business (or gaining complete autonomy within a large organization) is a suitable path for highly sensitive people. You can control your working hours, external stimuli, and whom you interact with, without having to deal with bosses and colleagues. Moreover, unlike many first-time entrepreneurs or small business owners, you will conduct thorough research and planning before taking any risks.

Starting your own business (or gaining complete autonomy within a large organization) is a suitable path for highly sensitive people. You can control your working hours, external stimuli, and whom you interact with, without having to deal with bosses and colleagues. Moreover, unlike many first-time entrepreneurs or small business owners, you will conduct thorough research and planning before taking any risks.

Helping Others as a Career#

Highly sensitive individuals can keenly sense others' pain and often intuitively know how to alleviate it.

To be honest, perhaps your responsibility is to work shorter hours to maintain your well-being and perform better. Of course, it is best not to make it widely known, but keeping yourself healthy and in good condition while controlling the level of stimulation is your primary task in helping others.

Highly sensitive individuals can keenly sense others' pain and often intuitively know how to alleviate it.

To be honest, perhaps your responsibility is to work shorter hours to maintain your well-being and perform better. Of course, it is best not to make it widely known, but keeping yourself healthy and in good condition while controlling the level of stimulation is your primary task in helping others.

Don't Overwork Yourself: The Experience of Teacher Greg#

You may find yourself working even when you are exhausted. However, in doing so, you cannot engage with the strength deep within you, leading to a self-destructive behavior plan that not only tortures you but also makes others feel guilty.

You may find yourself working even when you are exhausted. However, in doing so, you cannot engage with the strength deep within you, leading to a self-destructive behavior plan that not only tortures you but also makes others feel guilty.

The Highly Sensitive Person's Approach to Work Relationships#

But you understand that the risks are not great because you know what the outcomes will be. However, this does not mean you won't make mistakes; others may gloat over your failures. Additionally, those who do not realize you are in an excited state may say you are working all day, and they may feel dissatisfied with you—you make them look unproductive. But for you, work is entertainment. Not working is not necessarily rest.

However, it is best not to work for long periods. You might consider viewing positive excitement as a form of over-excitement and strive for a balance between work and rest. This way, your work will yield better results. Your excited state can also lead to another outcome: your mind is constantly thinking, and when the project at hand only has trivial tasks left to finish, you will eagerly rush to the next project, which may lead to situations where you sow while others reap, and you often have to face reality.

Therefore, if your thoughts are different from others, you must decide whether to honestly face your thoughts or to go with the flow, viewing things through others' eyes, privately feeling a bit out of place.

Your talent gives you a kind of leadership charm. Others may wish for you to guide them so they do not have to lead themselves. This is a tempting allure that can lead to self-satisfaction, but in the end, you may feel as if you have deprived them of their freedom.

Do not insist on using all your talents solely for work. You can express your talents through self-planning, art, future vision, or by having a side job while working, trying to showcase your talents through life itself.

Whether in the workplace or elsewhere, maintain contact with a variety of people; remember that no one can fully understand everything about you. Also, accept the fact that accepting the loneliness that comes with genius may be the freest and most effective way. But also accept the opposite fact: you do not need to feel isolated, because in a sense, everyone is a genius.

But you understand that the risks are not great because you know what the outcomes will be. However, this does not mean you won't make mistakes; others may gloat over your failures. Additionally, those who do not realize you are in an excited state may say you are working all day, and they may feel dissatisfied with you—you make them look unproductive. But for you, work is entertainment. Not working is not necessarily rest.

However, it is best not to work for long periods. You might consider viewing positive excitement as a form of over-excitement and strive for a balance between work and rest. This way, your work will yield better results. Your excited state can also lead to another outcome: your mind is constantly thinking, and when the project at hand only has trivial tasks left to finish, you will eagerly rush to the next project, which may lead to situations where you sow while others reap, and you often have to face reality.

Therefore, if your thoughts are different from others, you must decide whether to honestly face your thoughts or to go with the flow, viewing things through others' eyes, privately feeling a bit out of place.

Your talent gives you a kind of leadership charm. Others may wish for you to guide them so they do not have to lead themselves. This is a tempting allure that can lead to self-satisfaction, but in the end, you may feel as if you have deprived them of their freedom.

Do not insist on using all your talents solely for work. You can express your talents through self-planning, art, future vision, or by having a side job while working, trying to showcase your talents through life itself.

Whether in the workplace or elsewhere, maintain contact with a variety of people; remember that no one can fully understand everything about you. Also, accept the fact that accepting the loneliness that comes with genius may be the freest and most effective way. But also accept the opposite fact: you do not need to feel isolated, because in a sense, everyone is a genius.

Persuading Others to Appreciate Your Sensitivity#

Next, please do two things: the first is to write a short speech to use in interviews; the second is to write a more formal cover letter, expressing your strengths in both the speech and the cover letter, subtly highlighting your sensitive traits to persuade your employer.

Next, please do two things: the first is to write a short speech to use in interviews; the second is to write a more formal cover letter, expressing your strengths in both the speech and the cover letter, subtly highlighting your sensitive traits to persuade your employer.

Seeking Promotions in Different Ways#

Think about it: if you do not let your boss and the company know your value, it will cause great harm to the company. You will eventually feel dissatisfied, decide to leave, or be fired, while those less capable than you retain their positions.

Think about it: if you do not let your boss and the company know your value, it will cause great harm to the company. You will eventually feel dissatisfied, decide to leave, or be fired, while those less capable than you retain their positions.

Regrets That Can Be Avoided and Those That Cannot#

It would be great if you could make some progress in seeking answers in life! If you could also find a way to make money in the process, that would be even better! If you could cooperate with others, get along harmoniously, and appreciate each other while seeking answers, that would be a miracle. If you are fortunate enough to have this, be sure to cherish it. If you have not yet achieved this, I hope you now know how to strive for it.

It would be great if you could make some progress in seeking answers in life! If you could also find a way to make money in the process, that would be even better! If you could cooperate with others, get along harmoniously, and appreciate each other while seeking answers, that would be a miracle. If you are fortunate enough to have this, be sure to cherish it. If you have not yet achieved this, I hope you now know how to strive for it.

Chapter 7 Intimate Relationships for Highly Sensitive People#

Love, enriched by sensitivity: intense, soft, sacred, delicate, thoughtful, tolerant, courageous...

Love, enriched by sensitivity: intense, soft, sacred, delicate, thoughtful, tolerant, courageous...

Stormy Love#

Some highly sensitive individuals who have never been in love say, "I will never fall in love," just as one might say it will never rain in the desert. Those who understand deserts will tell you to be careful when it does rain.

Carl Jung believed that those accustomed to introversion (mostly highly sensitive people) use their strength internally to protect their precious inner lives from being overwhelmed by the external world. Jung pointed out that the more introverted a person is, the more unconscious pressure they generate to maintain inner balance. It is as if the house is filled with annoying (and likely genius) children who eventually find the back door as an exit. This accumulated inner strength often pours into someone (or somewhere, or something), becoming the most important thing in the introvert's mind. They may fall into an intense love, which has little to do with the beloved but rather with how long it has been since they engaged with the outside world.

To avoid falling into overly intense love, the best approach is to engage more with the outside world. Once you achieve balance, you may even find that someone can indeed make you feel calm and secure.

Some highly sensitive individuals who have never been in love say, "I will never fall in love," just as one might say it will never rain in the desert. Those who understand deserts will tell you to be careful when it does rain.

Carl Jung believed that those accustomed to introversion (mostly highly sensitive people) use their strength internally to protect their precious inner lives from being overwhelmed by the external world. Jung pointed out that the more introverted a person is, the more unconscious pressure they generate to maintain inner balance. It is as if the house is filled with annoying (and likely genius) children who eventually find the back door as an exit. This accumulated inner strength often pours into someone (or somewhere, or something), becoming the most important thing in the introvert's mind. They may fall into an intense love, which has little to do with the beloved but rather with how long it has been since they engaged with the outside world.

To avoid falling into overly intense love, the best approach is to engage more with the outside world. Once you achieve balance, you may even find that someone can indeed make you feel calm and secure.

Falling in Love with an Illusion#

As novelist Charles Williams wrote: "Even if what you pursue ultimately proves to be false, if you have never given your whole heart to love, then the real will never appear."

As novelist Charles Williams wrote: "Even if what you pursue ultimately proves to be false, if you have never given your whole heart to love, then the real will never appear."

The Relationship Between Confused Love and Lack of Security#

Those who lacked security in childhood often desperately try to avoid love to prevent being hurt. You may think that love is just a waste of time, not considering why your viewpoint differs from that of most people in the world. However, no matter how hard you try, one day you will find yourself trying to change this aspect of yourself again. Someone appears in your life, making you feel that it is safe to take the risk of establishing a relationship. Or there is something about this person that reminds you of someone from your past who provided a sense of security.

In fact, we all have fixed views in some sense. For example, pleasing and relying on the first kind-hearted person who promises to love and protect us; finding a perfect parental figure in our hearts and completely idolizing that person; being extremely cautious about establishing any type of intimate relationship; forming a relationship with someone simply because they resemble the first person who abandoned us in childhood (to see if we can change them this time) or insisting that we cannot grow up; or just to find another safe harbor, like the one we had in childhood.

Those who lacked security in childhood often desperately try to avoid love to prevent being hurt. You may think that love is just a waste of time, not considering why your viewpoint differs from that of most people in the world. However, no matter how hard you try, one day you will find yourself trying to change this aspect of yourself again. Someone appears in your life, making you feel that it is safe to take the risk of establishing a relationship. Or there is something about this person that reminds you of someone from your past who provided a sense of security.

In fact, we all have fixed views in some sense. For example, pleasing and relying on the first kind-hearted person who promises to love and protect us; finding a perfect parental figure in our hearts and completely idolizing that person; being extremely cautious about establishing any type of intimate relationship; forming a relationship with someone simply because they resemble the first person who abandoned us in childhood (to see if we can change them this time) or insisting that we cannot grow up; or just to find another safe harbor, like the one we had in childhood.

Two Elements of Love#

These two elements—falling in love with certain aspects of each other and discovering that the other also loves you—bring to mind an image where people admire each other but are waiting for the other to express their affection. Highly sensitive people should keep such images in mind because there are moments in life that are most stimulating, either revealing love or accepting a love confession. Wanting to establish intimate relationships with others is something we must do. We must take the risk of approaching others or maintaining intimate relationships, including openly expressing our thoughts.

These two elements—falling in love with certain aspects of each other and discovering that the other also loves you—bring to mind an image where people admire each other but are waiting for the other to express their affection. Highly sensitive people should keep such images in mind because there are moments in life that are most stimulating, either revealing love or accepting a love confession. Wanting to establish intimate relationships with others is something we must do. We must take the risk of approaching others or maintaining intimate relationships, including openly expressing our thoughts.

Hesitant Dance Steps of Love#

Yet we hesitate. That person may patiently wait for a while and then retreat. We feel lonely again, so...

One solution is that highly sensitive people must stay at the dance, not give up, and not just hope it will all end quickly. In the most suitable circumstances, strive to balance each other's needs and understand the fluctuations of feelings on both sides. As time passes, experience will make your dance more graceful, without stumbling.

Yet we hesitate. That person may patiently wait for a while and then retreat. We feel lonely again, so...

One solution is that highly sensitive people must stay at the dance, not give up, and not just hope it will all end quickly. In the most suitable circumstances, strive to balance each other's needs and understand the fluctuations of feelings on both sides. As time passes, experience will make your dance more graceful, without stumbling.

Reflective Listening#

Please note the following points: 1. Do not ask questions. 2. Do not give advice. 3. Do not mention your similar experiences. 4. Do not analyze or explain. 5. Do not do anything that distracts attention or does not provide feedback focused on feelings. 6. Do not remain silent for long; just let the other person speak.

No matter what the other person says, do not defend yourself or offer your own opinions.

Please note the following points: 1. Do not ask questions. 2. Do not give advice. 3. Do not mention your similar experiences. 4. Do not analyze or explain. 5. Do not do anything that distracts attention or does not provide feedback focused on feelings. 6. Do not remain silent for long; just let the other person speak.

No matter what the other person says, do not defend yourself or offer your own opinions.

Finding Yourself in Intimate Relationships#

Therefore, only in having an intimate relationship can you expose these dark sides and gain positive energy (which used to be hidden along with negative energy), guiding you to complete individuation on the path to wisdom and a whole self.

In some studies of married couples and unmarried couples, we found that if a couple does things they consider "exciting" together (not just "pleasant"), they are more satisfied with their relationship. This seems obvious; if you can no longer expand yourself by absorbing new things from each other, you can do new things together to establish a connection and achieve self-expansion.

If your relationship has always been a source of comfort, you should also pay attention to keeping it a source of satisfying self-expansion.

Therefore, only in having an intimate relationship can you expose these dark sides and gain positive energy (which used to be hidden along with negative energy), guiding you to complete individuation on the path to wisdom and a whole self.

In some studies of married couples and unmarried couples, we found that if a couple does things they consider "exciting" together (not just "pleasant"), they are more satisfied with their relationship. This seems obvious; if you can no longer expand yourself by absorbing new things from each other, you can do new things together to establish a connection and achieve self-expansion.

If your relationship has always been a source of comfort, you should also pay attention to keeping it a source of satisfying self-expansion.

Highly Sensitive People and Parenting#

Not having children is completely fine. We cannot have everything in the world. Sometimes, recognizing our limits is also wise. In fact, regarding this topic, I always say that not having children is good, and having children is also good. Each choice has its benefits.

Not having children is completely fine. We cannot have everything in the world. Sometimes, recognizing our limits is also wise. In fact, regarding this topic, I always say that not having children is good, and having children is also good. Each choice has its benefits.

Chapter 8 Unique Healing Processes#

The most arduous task is not to avoid the external world but to step out of the inner self. Learn to live your sensitive life.

The most arduous task is not to avoid the external world but to step out of the inner self. Learn to live your sensitive life.

Trauma is Not an Uncrossable Abyss#

But you need to understand that your sensitivity is not a flaw in itself; like a finely tuned instrument or machine, or a well-cared-for, spirited animal, you need to give yourself special care. Because non-highly sensitive people do not notice as many sharp, delicate, and annoying aspects of the current situation as you do.

But you need to understand that your sensitivity is not a flaw in itself; like a finely tuned instrument or machine, or a well-cared-for, spirited animal, you need to give yourself special care. Because non-highly sensitive people do not notice as many sharp, delicate, and annoying aspects of the current situation as you do.

Dan's Struggle to Survive#

Being a highly sensitive person does not hinder you from living tenaciously in your own way. This is what Dan needs.

"Being able to do what I need to do—that is the most important thing. I need to acknowledge and respect my sensitivity. I need to maintain a positive, calm, and problem-solving attitude. But I also need to be careful not to desperately seek people or things in the external world that I cannot find within." Because within him, "there is a black hole, and sometimes I cannot even think of a reason to live. I do not care whether I live or die."

"Various things deeply move me, and I hate losing this very joyful feeling." He smiled bravely, "Although there is a lot of loneliness in life, it took a long time to feel the sorrow of life, but life always contains both joy and sorrow. I am searching for a spiritual answer." This is how Dan has struggled to survive.

Being a highly sensitive person does not hinder you from living tenaciously in your own way. This is what Dan needs.

"Being able to do what I need to do—that is the most important thing. I need to acknowledge and respect my sensitivity. I need to maintain a positive, calm, and problem-solving attitude. But I also need to be careful not to desperately seek people or things in the external world that I cannot find within." Because within him, "there is a black hole, and sometimes I cannot even think of a reason to live. I do not care whether I live or die."

"Various things deeply move me, and I hate losing this very joyful feeling." He smiled bravely, "Although there is a lot of loneliness in life, it took a long time to feel the sorrow of life, but life always contains both joy and sorrow. I am searching for a spiritual answer." This is how Dan has struggled to survive.

Have Great Patience with Yourself#

Highly sensitive individuals, once they reach adulthood, typically possess the most suitable inner and self-healing personalities for reflection. Generally, you have strong intuition that helps you reveal the most important hidden factors. You have more ways to explore your unconscious, and you strongly feel the unconscious thoughts of others, being very aware of how you are influenced. In handling matters, you also have good intuition, knowing when to push forward and when to retreat. You maintain curiosity about your inner life. Most importantly, you are honest and upright. In facing specific moments, certain traumas, or certain facts, no matter how difficult, you can always persist in your process of individuation.

Highly sensitive individuals, once they reach adulthood, typically possess the most suitable inner and self-healing personalities for reflection. Generally, you have strong intuition that helps you reveal the most important hidden factors. You have more ways to explore your unconscious, and you strongly feel the unconscious thoughts of others, being very aware of how you are influenced. In handling matters, you also have good intuition, knowing when to push forward and when to retreat. You maintain curiosity about your inner life. Most importantly, you are honest and upright. In facing specific moments, certain traumas, or certain facts, no matter how difficult, you can always persist in your process of individuation.

Four Healing Methods#

Highly sensitive individuals can use cognitive behavioral therapy to train their attention systems, controlling the conflict between the activation system and the pause-checking system.

In any case, it makes sense to first prevent physiological deterioration, as a person can only think calmly after their body has calmed down.

Spiritual therapy is often the most appealing to highly sensitive individuals. Among the highly sensitive individuals I have interviewed, almost every one of them has utilized resources related to spiritual power when needing to heal inner trauma. We are attracted to spiritual therapy for two reasons: one is that we enjoy reflecting inwardly, and the other is that if we can view things from different perspectives—detachment, love, trust—it can calm over-excitement and help us manage the situations that bring us stress. In fact, most spiritual therapies aim to find new perspectives. There is evidence that spiritual therapy can bring comfort to highly sensitive individuals.

In this world, to achieve true redemption or enlightenment, one must strive to overcome difficult personal issues. For highly sensitive individuals, the most arduous task is not to avoid the external world but to step out of the inner self and engage with society.

Highly sensitive individuals can use cognitive behavioral therapy to train their attention systems, controlling the conflict between the activation system and the pause-checking system.

In any case, it makes sense to first prevent physiological deterioration, as a person can only think calmly after their body has calmed down.

Spiritual therapy is often the most appealing to highly sensitive individuals. Among the highly sensitive individuals I have interviewed, almost every one of them has utilized resources related to spiritual power when needing to heal inner trauma. We are attracted to spiritual therapy for two reasons: one is that we enjoy reflecting inwardly, and the other is that if we can view things from different perspectives—detachment, love, trust—it can calm over-excitement and help us manage the situations that bring us stress. In fact, most spiritual therapies aim to find new perspectives. There is evidence that spiritual therapy can bring comfort to highly sensitive individuals.

In this world, to achieve true redemption or enlightenment, one must strive to overcome difficult personal issues. For highly sensitive individuals, the most arduous task is not to avoid the external world but to step out of the inner self and engage with society.

My Recommended Psychological Therapies#

Jungian experts do not seek methods of healing but hope to help people achieve individuation through communication with their inner world throughout their long lives.

Jungian experts do not seek methods of healing but hope to help people achieve individuation through communication with their inner world throughout their long lives.

Observations on Psychological Therapy#

In the broadest sense, psychotherapy integrates various paths to wisdom and wholeness.

Moreover, deep psychological analysis is particularly enjoyable for highly sensitive individuals; while others may feel lost, we feel at home. This vast and beautiful wilderness allows us to traverse freely. We can also bring along various useful items—books, courses, relationships—for a joyful camping trip. The experts and amateurs we meet along the way become companions. This is a spiritual paradise. Do not shrink back because of societal attitudes. Some things that highly sensitive individuals feel in psychoanalysis are sometimes beyond the comprehension of others.

In the broadest sense, psychotherapy integrates various paths to wisdom and wholeness.

Moreover, deep psychological analysis is particularly enjoyable for highly sensitive individuals; while others may feel lost, we feel at home. This vast and beautiful wilderness allows us to traverse freely. We can also bring along various useful items—books, courses, relationships—for a joyful camping trip. The experts and amateurs we meet along the way become companions. This is a spiritual paradise. Do not shrink back because of societal attitudes. Some things that highly sensitive individuals feel in psychoanalysis are sometimes beyond the comprehension of others.

Chapter 9 Mind and Spirit: True Wealth#

Listen to the call of the mind, pursuing wholeness in imperfection.

Highly sensitive individuals are destined to develop the integrity that is greatly needed in human consciousness. Ultimately, we have a gift; we can perceive things that others do not notice or refuse to acknowledge, and it is precisely because these things are overlooked that disasters keep recurring.

Listen to the call of the mind, pursuing wholeness in imperfection.

Highly sensitive individuals are destined to develop the integrity that is greatly needed in human consciousness. Ultimately, we have a gift; we can perceive things that others do not notice or refuse to acknowledge, and it is precisely because these things are overlooked that disasters keep recurring.

Four Obvious Signs of Highly Sensitive People#

Spontaneous silence creates a sacred collective presence, empathetic behavior, a mind/spirit orientation, and insight into all of this.

Half of them spend a lot of time discussing their mind/spirit life, as if spiritual life better reflects their essence. As for the other half, as soon as I ask about inner life, philosophy, beliefs, or religious rituals, their voices immediately light up, as if they have been waiting for me to mention this topic.

Years of contemplation and meditation, willing to "let feelings flow naturally."

"The Way is the power in the universe: do not struggle to escape it."

"Deep contemplation twice a day; I once felt an ocean-like vastness, a happiness that lasted for days; but spiritual life is constantly growing and requires understanding."

"In childhood, religious beliefs attracted and repelled me, but I always encountered some supernatural and mysterious things that I did not know how to deal with."

"God grants us insight, corrects our mistakes, and shows us the way."

"I am a Buddhist, a Hindu, a pantheist. I believe that everything happens inevitably, and I try to enjoy it as much as possible, whether going uphill, downhill, or backward, I aim to walk gracefully and beautifully." "I often feel one with the universe."

Spontaneous silence creates a sacred collective presence, empathetic behavior, a mind/spirit orientation, and insight into all of this.

Half of them spend a lot of time discussing their mind/spirit life, as if spiritual life better reflects their essence. As for the other half, as soon as I ask about inner life, philosophy, beliefs, or religious rituals, their voices immediately light up, as if they have been waiting for me to mention this topic.

Years of contemplation and meditation, willing to "let feelings flow naturally."

"The Way is the power in the universe: do not struggle to escape it."

"Deep contemplation twice a day; I once felt an ocean-like vastness, a happiness that lasted for days; but spiritual life is constantly growing and requires understanding."

"In childhood, religious beliefs attracted and repelled me, but I always encountered some supernatural and mysterious things that I did not know how to deal with."

"God grants us insight, corrects our mistakes, and shows us the way."

"I am a Buddhist, a Hindu, a pantheist. I believe that everything happens inevitably, and I try to enjoy it as much as possible, whether going uphill, downhill, or backward, I aim to walk gracefully and beautifully." "I often feel one with the universe."

Exploring Mind and Spiritual Culture#

Science has triumphed and is seen as the best way to understand everything. But science does not intend to answer those grand spiritual, philosophical, and moral questions. Thus, we behave as if these questions do not matter, but in fact, they are very important. Social values and behaviors always implicitly answer these questions—what kind of people are respected in society, loved, feared, and who will be cast aside without food or clothing. If these questions can receive clear answers, they are often resolved by highly sensitive individuals.

Many people also hesitate about whether to report. In a culture that values the physical over the mind and spirit, highly sensitive individuals are often marginalized. But the times need us; if a balance cannot be achieved between the counselor and the warrior, it is always a dangerous thing, especially when science denies intuition, making decisions on various "big issues" without deep thought for convenience. This field needs the contributions of highly sensitive individuals more than any other.

Science has triumphed and is seen as the best way to understand everything. But science does not intend to answer those grand spiritual, philosophical, and moral questions. Thus, we behave as if these questions do not matter, but in fact, they are very important. Social values and behaviors always implicitly answer these questions—what kind of people are respected in society, loved, feared, and who will be cast aside without food or clothing. If these questions can receive clear answers, they are often resolved by highly sensitive individuals.

Many people also hesitate about whether to report. In a culture that values the physical over the mind and spirit, highly sensitive individuals are often marginalized. But the times need us; if a balance cannot be achieved between the counselor and the warrior, it is always a dangerous thing, especially when science denies intuition, making decisions on various "big issues" without deep thought for convenience. This field needs the contributions of highly sensitive individuals more than any other.

Seeking Meaning in Life and Inspiring Others#

He also found that in harsh survival environments, those who can draw meaning from others are stronger both physically and mentally, ultimately surviving tenaciously. Sensitive individuals, if accustomed to a rich spiritual life, may be physically tormented (they often have weaker constitutions), but the damage to their inner spiritual life is less. They can retreat from a terrifying external environment into their rich inner life and free spiritual world. Only from this perspective can we explain a paradox: some imprisoned individuals, though not physically strong, often survive better in concentration camps than some physically robust individuals.

In peaceful times, sensitive artists in favorable circumstances may pursue expressing their innermost thoughts in the purest and most appropriate way. Thus, in turbulent and chaotic times, others can seek support from their works, looking for answers to various perplexing questions. They are unable to find answers on their own because all their energy is spent on basic survival needs. Sadly, in difficult times, we often discard the spiritual heritage created by artists during "peaceful" times, deeming these things meaningless to us.

No matter what era you live in, everyone will eventually experience suffering. How to endure suffering oneself and help others through it is the best manifestation of the creativity and moral strength of highly sensitive individuals.

He also found that in harsh survival environments, those who can draw meaning from others are stronger both physically and mentally, ultimately surviving tenaciously. Sensitive individuals, if accustomed to a rich spiritual life, may be physically tormented (they often have weaker constitutions), but the damage to their inner spiritual life is less. They can retreat from a terrifying external environment into their rich inner life and free spiritual world. Only from this perspective can we explain a paradox: some imprisoned individuals, though not physically strong, often survive better in concentration camps than some physically robust individuals.

In peaceful times, sensitive artists in favorable circumstances may pursue expressing their innermost thoughts in the purest and most appropriate way. Thus, in turbulent and chaotic times, others can seek support from their works, looking for answers to various perplexing questions. They are unable to find answers on their own because all their energy is spent on basic survival needs. Sadly, in difficult times, we often discard the spiritual heritage created by artists during "peaceful" times, deeming these things meaningless to us.

No matter what era you live in, everyone will eventually experience suffering. How to endure suffering oneself and help others through it is the best manifestation of the creativity and moral strength of highly sensitive individuals.

Leading the Pursuit of Wholeness#

By completing the process of individuation, you can find the meaning of your life and understand what you truly want to do. As Martha C. Nussbaum wrote in her book "The Ordinary Person as Monk and Mystic": "The key to a complete personality is to find what is good for you and then hold on to it tightly to achieve wholeness." I just want to add that what you hold on to is not a fixed goal but a process. The voices that need to be listened to change day by day, year by year. Similarly, Frank also refuses to talk about the only meaning of life.

The pursuit of wholeness is actually a process of circling around a center, passing through various meanings and voices, ultimately getting closer to the center. However, a person can never reach the center; they can only see it more clearly. If we keep circling around the center, we are less likely to become arrogant because we experience every one of our experiences. This is the process of pursuing wholeness, not perfection; wholeness must include imperfection.

Understanding your dark sides, in addition to advancing morally, if you can consciously integrate these dark sides into your character, their energy will also bring vitality and depth to your personality. Highly sensitive individuals full of creativity must liberate themselves and not adhere to conventions. Learning more about your dark sides (you will never know them all) is the best way to help you break free from the shackles of excessive socialization, perhaps the only way.

Highly sensitive individuals possess a serious, diligent side that seeks to please others, as well as a powerful, cunning, and self-inflated side; these two sides collide and draw strength from each other. As a whole, each aspect respects and constrains the other; they—meaning you—will become a precious existence in the world.

Wholeness is a central issue faced by highly sensitive individuals in their spiritual and psychological lives. If we only pursue the spiritual while neglecting everything else, it becomes too one-sided. Seeing the most sacred things become less sacred, the deepest psychological insights failing to penetrate our psyche, we will feel great pain. The pursuit of wholeness, rather than perfection, may be the only way to grasp this point.

No one can achieve true wholeness. Mortal humans inevitably have their limitations— we cannot achieve wholeness in contradictory aspects—light and dark, feminine and masculine, conscious and unconscious.

Strengthening the parts of ourselves that are weaker and relatively clumsy is a highly valuable path toward wholeness. This process will allow us to touch what is buried in the subconscious, enabling us to harmonize with everything.

Van der Franz believes that intuitive individuals are often more easily conquered by sensory experiences—music, food, alcohol or drugs, sex. They lose their normal sense of these things but have a very strong intuition that sees meaning beyond the surface.

By completing the process of individuation, you can find the meaning of your life and understand what you truly want to do. As Martha C. Nussbaum wrote in her book "The Ordinary Person as Monk and Mystic": "The key to a complete personality is to find what is good for you and then hold on to it tightly to achieve wholeness." I just want to add that what you hold on to is not a fixed goal but a process. The voices that need to be listened to change day by day, year by year. Similarly, Frank also refuses to talk about the only meaning of life.

The pursuit of wholeness is actually a process of circling around a center, passing through various meanings and voices, ultimately getting closer to the center. However, a person can never reach the center; they can only see it more clearly. If we keep circling around the center, we are less likely to become arrogant because we experience every one of our experiences. This is the process of pursuing wholeness, not perfection; wholeness must include imperfection.

Understanding your dark sides, in addition to advancing morally, if you can consciously integrate these dark sides into your character, their energy will also bring vitality and depth to your personality. Highly sensitive individuals full of creativity must liberate themselves and not adhere to conventions. Learning more about your dark sides (you will never know them all) is the best way to help you break free from the shackles of excessive socialization, perhaps the only way.

Highly sensitive individuals possess a serious, diligent side that seeks to please others, as well as a powerful, cunning, and self-inflated side; these two sides collide and draw strength from each other. As a whole, each aspect respects and constrains the other; they—meaning you—will become a precious existence in the world.

Wholeness is a central issue faced by highly sensitive individuals in their spiritual and psychological lives. If we only pursue the spiritual while neglecting everything else, it becomes too one-sided. Seeing the most sacred things become less sacred, the deepest psychological insights failing to penetrate our psyche, we will feel great pain. The pursuit of wholeness, rather than perfection, may be the only way to grasp this point.

No one can achieve true wholeness. Mortal humans inevitably have their limitations— we cannot achieve wholeness in contradictory aspects—light and dark, feminine and masculine, conscious and unconscious.

Strengthening the parts of ourselves that are weaker and relatively clumsy is a highly valuable path toward wholeness. This process will allow us to touch what is buried in the subconscious, enabling us to harmonize with everything.

Van der Franz believes that intuitive individuals are often more easily conquered by sensory experiences—music, food, alcohol or drugs, sex. They lose their normal sense of these things but have a very strong intuition that sees meaning beyond the surface.

The Value of Highly Sensitive People#

Now, may your sensitivity become a blessing for you and others. May you enjoy peace and joy in this world. As your life progresses day by day, an increasingly broad world is unfolding before you.

Now, may your sensitivity become a blessing for you and others. May you enjoy peace and joy in this world. As your life progresses day by day, an increasingly broad world is unfolding before you.

Chapter 10 Seeking Professional Help#

Unique bodies and minds require unique care.

Unique bodies and minds require unique care.

The Impact of Sensitivity on Medical Approaches#

Being aware of the existence of death in life has certain significance for us, making us cherish the present moment more. If the awareness of death brings you excessive stimulation, you can also utilize a common defense mechanism: denial of reality. Let your friends and family around you help you. They will face these issues at some point in the past or future as well. You do not need to feel like a strange person or a burden to others. We all have to face these matters.

Being aware of the existence of death in life has certain significance for us, making us cherish the present moment more. If the awareness of death brings you excessive stimulation, you can also utilize a common defense mechanism: denial of reality. Let your friends and family around you help you. They will face these issues at some point in the past or future as well. You do not need to feel like a strange person or a burden to others. We all have to face these matters.

Serotonin and Highly Sensitive People#

One study showed that in a monkey troop, dominant monkeys had higher serotonin levels. Increasing the serotonin levels in one monkey while decreasing it in others allows that monkey to gain dominance. Placing a monkey at the top of the hierarchy also increases its serotonin levels, while removing it from that position decreases serotonin. This is why doctors want to increase your serotonin levels—to help you gain an advantage in this hierarchical society and be more successful. Highly sensitive individuals possess uniquely human abilities (insight, intuition, imagination), but they are prone to low serotonin levels, which makes us ponder the reasons behind this. It seems reasonable to assume that our lack of advantage is due to low serotonin levels. Perhaps the reality is the opposite; because we feel defective or hold a lower position in the hierarchy, it leads to decreased serotonin. Are low serotonin levels, depression, and all other issues caused by highly sensitive individuals being "devalued" by society?

One study showed that in a monkey troop, dominant monkeys had higher serotonin levels. Increasing the serotonin levels in one monkey while decreasing it in others allows that monkey to gain dominance. Placing a monkey at the top of the hierarchy also increases its serotonin levels, while removing it from that position decreases serotonin. This is why doctors want to increase your serotonin levels—to help you gain an advantage in this hierarchical society and be more successful. Highly sensitive individuals possess uniquely human abilities (insight, intuition, imagination), but they are prone to low serotonin levels, which makes us ponder the reasons behind this. It seems reasonable to assume that our lack of advantage is due to low serotonin levels. Perhaps the reality is the opposite; because we feel defective or hold a lower position in the hierarchy, it leads to decreased serotonin. Are low serotonin levels, depression, and all other issues caused by highly sensitive individuals being "devalued" by society?

Do You Want to Use SSRIs to Change Your Sensitivity?#

One point that patients often do not realize is that most SSRIs may affect men's sexual behavior, women's orgasms, and the sexual needs of both. They may also lead to significant weight gain. Finally, SSRIs can pose great dangers when mixed with certain other medications, especially other antidepressants, as excessively high serotonin levels can be harmful to the body and may even lead to death.

One point that patients often do not realize is that most SSRIs may affect men's sexual behavior, women's orgasms, and the sexual needs of both. They may also lead to significant weight gain. Finally, SSRIs can pose great dangers when mixed with certain other medications, especially other antidepressants, as excessively high serotonin levels can be harmful to the body and may even lead to death.

Advice for Supporters#

Highly sensitive individuals are generally serious and diligent, working very hard. Many of them are geniuses. But under over-excitement, no one can perform well, and highly sensitive individuals are more easily overstimulated than others. The more they try when being observed or under pressure, the more likely they are to fail, and failure can hit