"The Inner World of Highly Sensitive Children" Reading Notes#
Author: [Fr] Clisde Butikunan
Reading Duration: 0 hours
These are the notes and excerpts I recorded while reading "The Inner World of Highly Sensitive Children" on WeChat Reading.
Chapter Ⅻ 16 Secrets to Help Children Maintain Good Grades#
Sometimes, the meaning of what is learned may not be very obvious. At this point, you need to connect the knowledge your child is learning with a long-term goal. The child needs to understand, "I am learning English because I hope to be qualified for an international position in the future," or "I need to score very high in math so that I can go to the university I dream of." Sometimes, you also need to remind the child to accept reality [illustration] — "People have to do some things they find annoying, like filling out tax forms. There is no other meaning to this; we do it simply because we have to, otherwise we will get into trouble. Sometimes, doing things has no reason; you might find it absurd, but others will not ask for your opinion. You have to do it, or you will get into trouble." Highly sensitive children also have moments when they do things without questioning the reason. I used to tease these kids, saying they never question the meaning of tasks when playing video games — why do they need to get the magic sword and life potion? Why do they need to gain three experience points to level up? I told the children that to be motivated to learn, they could think of getting high scores in geography exams as a task to obtain the magic sword, and similarly, mastering math would earn them the life potion, allowing them to level up... Seeing the children smile after hearing this, I knew they understood my point.
This last suggestion may be somewhat controversial: Highly sensitive children are natural teachers. If they feel idle after completing practice problems, arrange for them to explain the lessons again to children who do not understand. Highly sensitive children are friendly, patient, and very creative; they can come up with unique ways to help others efficiently absorb course content. However, some precautions need to be followed: ● The person being helped by highly sensitive children cannot be someone who bullies them. ● The highly sensitive child teaching should always remember that they are a student; they are not an adult or a formal assistant to the teacher. ● The highly sensitive child must be willing to do this. ● The other child must also be willing to accept help from the highly sensitive child.
I asked him, "Tituan, you are really smart, there is no doubt about that, but why are your math grades so poor?" Tituan's face fell, and he replied, "Because the math teacher is stupid." I insisted, "Yes, the teacher may be foolish. But your brain is so developed that you can do well without their help. Math is too easy for you, so I still want to ask you: why are your math grades so poor?" Tituan indignantly replied, "But if I do well, that teacher will think he did nothing wrong." I suddenly understood what he meant: "You insist on doing poorly so that teacher feels useless?" Tituan shrugged and said, "Yeah, that's it."
The challenges faced by highly sensitive children can be summarized as follows: I already know the answer; now, I just need to figure out how I thought of it before and explain that process. The biggest mistake highly sensitive children make is thinking that the result is the most important. Still, the same saying applies: stay grounded.
Highly sensitive children may find it silly to explain things to someone who already understands them. We need to emphasize the importance of this to them. I would say, "Please treat the teacher as a fool who knows nothing, and explain your reasoning process in detail on the paper." This statement can amuse the child, and then I would continue to explain, "You and I both know the teacher is not a fool, but they actually want you to treat them as one."
Sometimes, the meaning of what is learned may not be very obvious. At this point, you need to connect the knowledge your child is learning with a long-term goal. The child needs to understand, "I am learning English because I hope to be qualified for an international position in the future," or "I need to score very high in math so that I can go to the university I dream of." Sometimes, you also need to remind the child to accept reality [illustration] — "People have to do some things they find annoying, like filling out tax forms. There is no other meaning to this; we do it simply because we have to, otherwise we will get into trouble. Sometimes, doing things has no reason; you might find it absurd, but others will not ask for your opinion. You have to do it, or you will get into trouble." Highly sensitive children also have moments when they do things without questioning the reason. I used to tease these kids, saying they never question the meaning of tasks when playing video games — why do they need to get the magic sword and life potion? Why do they need to gain three experience points to level up? I told the children that to be motivated to learn, they could think of getting high scores in geography exams as a task to obtain the magic sword, and similarly, mastering math would earn them the life potion, allowing them to level up... Seeing the children smile after hearing this, I knew they understood my point.
This last suggestion may be somewhat controversial: Highly sensitive children are natural teachers. If they feel idle after completing practice problems, arrange for them to explain the lessons again to children who do not understand. Highly sensitive children are friendly, patient, and very creative; they can come up with unique ways to help others efficiently absorb course content. However, some precautions need to be followed: ● The person being helped by highly sensitive children cannot be someone who bullies them. ● The highly sensitive child teaching should always remember that they are a student; they are not an adult or a formal assistant to the teacher. ● The highly sensitive child must be willing to do this. ● The other child must also be willing to accept help from the highly sensitive child.
I asked him, "Tituan, you are really smart, there is no doubt about that, but why are your math grades so poor?" Tituan's face fell, and he replied, "Because the math teacher is stupid." I insisted, "Yes, the teacher may be foolish. But your brain is so developed that you can do well without their help. Math is too easy for you, so I still want to ask you: why are your math grades so poor?" Tituan indignantly replied, "But if I do well, that teacher will think he did nothing wrong." I suddenly understood what he meant: "You insist on doing poorly so that teacher feels useless?" Tituan shrugged and said, "Yeah, that's it."
The challenges faced by highly sensitive children can be summarized as follows: I already know the answer; now, I just need to figure out how I thought of it before and explain that process. The biggest mistake highly sensitive children make is thinking that the result is the most important. Still, the same saying applies: stay grounded.
Highly sensitive children may find it silly to explain things to someone who already understands them. We need to emphasize the importance of this to them. I would say, "Please treat the teacher as a fool who knows nothing, and explain your reasoning process in detail on the paper." This statement can amuse the child, and then I would continue to explain, "You and I both know the teacher is not a fool, but they actually want you to treat them as one."
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