Pigeon pigeon pigeon, I didn't expect that I haven't updated my blog for almost a year. The main reason is that I was too busy in high school (just excuses ).
Review of the Past Year#
In the past year, I, myself, have experienced the high school entrance examination, the COVID-19 pandemic; in society, I have experienced the comprehensive opening up and the emergence of ChatGPT. Despite having so many things worth talking about, I plan to first chat with everyone about the bits and pieces of life (actually just survival).
Middle School Stage#
The middle school part of last year has already been discussed in the previous article, so I will only mention a few important stages here:
- In May, I failed the provincial experimental class exam for Nan Shan Class (to be honest, Napoleon's triangle and chemical bonds really got me, and it was a bit sudden to have the exam the day after the notification).
- In May, I had high blood pressure for a week in a row.
- In June, I took the middle school entrance examination, which may have been the easiest exam paper in the past ten years.
- In July, I missed the graduation ceremony due to the change in the education bureau's decision to release the results earlier while I was on a trip.
These are the main experiences during my middle school stage. Although I didn't do well in the entrance examination (at least that's how I feel), I didn't completely fail. I went to the CS department of the school that had rejected me before.
High School Stage#
Summer Camp#
My high school stage started in August of last summer vacation (during the selection for the competition class). After arguing with my dad on July 31st, I chose the physics experience camp out of anger (it was originally the information camp). At first, I thought it would be a competition among a dozen people and would be resolved in a week, but when I arrived at the venue, I found that there were more than ninety people competing for a dozen spots. The key was that I had to stay for another week after the exam. So I told my mom that there was probably no hope (actually, I just didn't want to give up my summer vacation). However, CS served beef for a few days and made me extremely comfortable, so I had the idea of staying. In the end, I accidentally got the third place in the exam (although I really didn't receive any information, CAN's consolation was just a misunderstanding, I hope it can be resolved soon), so I stayed in the competition class physics camp as the second place.
Let me share something interesting. In order to appease our emotions, the summer camp even organized a picnic.
Formal Start of School#
The best thing about being in the competition class is that I hardly have to do military training, just a little training every day to experience the feeling. But it's still quite interesting, and I even won a first prize.
After the formal start of school, everything fell into place, and I quickly became familiar with my classmates. Teacher Sun also gave me great encouragement. Everything seemed harmonious, and I planned to make great achievements. However, the first monthly exam hit me hard, as I didn't make it to the top 100. This was a heavy blow to me, who thought I could stand out. It made me realize that there are always people better than me, and there are always greater challenges. Fortunately, I did better in the mid-term exam and made it to the top 50, which eased my emotions a bit. However, the ups and downs of subsequent grades made me realize the difference in studying in high school.
Let's talk about the competition. I chose physics competition (yes, that physics competition with a bunch of nerds). There is a lot of interesting content to learn, and I personally like it very much. So I invested a lot of time in solving problems, but the results were not very good (otherwise, I wouldn't be complaining).
Regarding the issue of studying, I will analyze it in a separate section, so let's move on.
Let's talk about the activities of the CS competition class. First of all, students in the competition class cannot participate in clubs and student unions (actually, you don't have time to do that either). But we didn't miss out on activities like street sweeping, sports day, and spring outing (I even participated in the shot put competition and had my third cup of bubble tea in my life).
Let's talk about something special. When I was throwing the shot put, my classmates even played the song "Cat Poisoning" (although I really like it, I'm definitely not a fan of Jia Xin Tang).
Academic Aspect#
Okay, after talking so much, I finally come to studying. In fact, studying is the main source of pressure in my high school life (whether it's for the college entrance examination or the competition). Although some people call me "Ye Shen" (a nickname), I know that I am still a rookie. I have learned high school physics, mechanics, and electromagnetics quite quickly in the first year. I have almost finished brushing up on advanced mathematics, and I have memorized over a hundred pages of vocabulary. But I think I still have many shortcomings, and a few points are particularly significant:
- I do problems too quickly and often don't think about them.
- I tend to get nervous and have low blood sugar after exams (not just once or twice).
- I am too eager for quick success and instant benefits, and I tend to worry too much.
- Perhaps I lack a spirit of exploration.
- ...
These have led to my inability to stand out in competitions and the college entrance examination. Therefore, I have some plans to make up for these shortcomings:
- Practice regularly to get a feel for exams.
- Learn how to take exams properly and manage time effectively.
- Build a solid foundation in mathematics and then study physics theory on top of it (for example, finish advanced mathematics and linear algebra first).
I also plan to use my weekends to find materials and broaden my horizons, and use the Feynman learning method for output.
Personal Life#
Well, actually, my parents were worried that I wouldn't be able to take care of myself in CS, but I ended up becoming a dormitory leader in high school (life works in mysterious ways).
Overall, life in CS is quite good. I play badminton when I should, eat beef when I should. Although some people say that CS is like a walled city - "people outside want to get in, people inside want to get out," I personally feel that it's not too bad. However, I did lose a lot of weight, that's true. Here's the proof:
Me when I just started high school
Me after one semester
Philosophical Thoughts#
Finally, I come to the topic I want to talk about the most (yes, all the previous parts were just a prelude). Although I have less time to think since entering high school, I still have some strange thoughts (perhaps influenced by Nietzsche during middle school).
About Aspirations#
In today's era, the emergence of ChatGPT has made many people feel a sense of crisis. But as a person who is already quite pessimistic, I feel that it's not too bad. Comparing the development of the times, the era of machines replacing mindless labor will come sooner or later. People may wonder if AI can replace humans, but I don't think so. Perhaps AI can replace some repetitive work, and maybe it can have some degree of "thinking," but I always believe that AI cannot have self-consciousness. Some people may argue against this view, but has ChatGPT passed the Turing test? Moreover, although the learning of neural networks is close to the human brain, it cannot be considered independent thinking. So I think AI can only be an assistant, it cannot replace the most essential qualities of humans. In today's world, too many people just blindly follow the current situation, being swept away by the waves of the era, lacking independent judgment. I believe that we should not be like this. We should have our own subjective judgment, not be influenced by others, and become the ones who influence others. Perhaps the concept of the overall situation is not in line with yours, or your vision may seem impossible to achieve, or maybe you are still struggling in the present, but you must not blindly conform. That way, you lose your rationality and humanity, and even ChatGPT is better than you. In today's world, there are too many people who just blindly follow the current situation, being swept away by the waves of the era, lacking independent judgment. I believe that we should not be like this. We should have our own subjective judgment, not be influenced by others, and become the ones who influence others. Perhaps the concept of the overall situation is not in line with yours, or your vision may seem impossible to achieve, or maybe you are still struggling in the present, but you must not blindly conform. That way, you lose your rationality and humanity, and even ChatGPT is better than you. Even though we may not be able to change it now, we should still hold on to this belief. Although the teenage dragon slayer may eventually become an evil dragon, as long as we hold on to this belief, it is always better than just passively conforming and accepting a mediocre future.
About Dealing with People#
This is probably my middle way. I particularly appreciate the saying:
When confronting others, be tough at first. If you find that you can't win, soften up and comply.
Some people may say that this is a sign of being weak, and I won't deny it. But when arguing with others, if you keep adding fuel to the fire, it may lead to faster results. Moreover, as long as you can resolve the issue when confronting others, it doesn't matter whether the other person agrees or not. After all:
Walk your own path and let others talk.
Another point is that when interacting with others, one should treat them sincerely and not stab them in the back. Leave the benefits to others rather than enjoying them alone. Perhaps this often leads to disadvantages for oneself, but having a clear conscience is the best result.
These points may be too idealistic, but as an idealist, this is how I restrain myself. Perhaps this is what I consider to be the middle way.
About Emotions#
Actually, I am a rather pessimistic person, but in a Nietzschean way.
I believe that life is like going through a tribulation, and one experiences a lot of suffering in one's lifetime. Perhaps death is the best relief. But why do people want to live, is it just for themselves? Probably not, or maybe it's for those who love you, like parents, friends... For them, one cannot die. Therefore, I have developed my own set of views on emotions:
- Treat people sincerely and don't belittle or ridicule others.
- Don't intentionally harm others (such as cursing or insulting others).
- Don't get married (if you get married, there will be at least one more person who cares about you. In that case, there are two possibilities: either when you die, there will be one more person grieving for you, or when she dies, you will grieve for her).
Some people may say that my thoughts are twisted, but this is indeed how I feel. Perhaps one day I will break free from this cycle myself.
Conclusion#
This year of life has been quite diverse. Although I often feel emo, fortunately, I have the company of the physics camp buddies - Bad Uncle Xiao Huihui, the high-cold and funny girl AX, CAN, who seems rough on the surface but is actually quite nice... I accidentally wrote until after 11 o'clock. I hope my 16-year-old self can be more open-minded, appreciate the beauty of life, strive to be in the top 20, and make it into the provincial team!